It hurts. Breaking up is never easy, but when you are the one who’s left behind, it hurts even more. You cry, you do stupid things and lose every trace of dignity and self-respect. All you think about is coming back to that person, because you feel you can’t live your life without them and the only thought of continuing to exist alone makes you miserable. Basically, you are pretty much fucked.
Your friends tell you that time heals all wounds, but yours seem too deep. More than wounds, it’s like some of your limbs have been amputated, and there’s no healing for that -unless you are a lizard, which is not the case. Then, when your face is still having a moisturizing treatment with your own tears, the magic words come to play: moving on. And they say it to you all the bloody time, like if repetition would ease the process. But it’s not easy, not at all.
Moving on after somebody broke your heart is a very difficult task. You love them for the wonderful past you shared together, but you hate them for how grim your life has become after they dumped you. They can be your perfect partner to live happily ever after, and at the same time you forsake them for how awful they’ve been to you during and after your relationship. This way, you keep them in your head all the time, jumping from one extreme to the other, love to hate, mixing your emotions like if your heart were on a blender.
I’ve been ditched myself, and I can speak from my own experience: moving on is really fucking hard. I cried my heart out, until I was out of tears. I partied, I drank, I danced and I fucked around to exhaustion. No matter what I did, I couldn’t get her out of my head for long. She always came back to my mind and I felt helpless. Didn’t have control over this constant thoughts, those flashbacks and this belief I lost my soul mate, the love of my life, my lass.
How did I move on? I wouldn’t say I’m totally out of the woods, since some ashes of that fire I once had in my heart still feel hot. Anyhow, life now looks promising as I can see and sense the warm light at the end of this long tunnel. I managed to get to this point thanks to time, that surprisingly did heal my wounds. My friends and family did a great job too, as well as never ceasing my social life nor the activities I enjoyed. But, most of all, analyzing from a distance my so called “perfect partner” and the whole relationship gave me an approach I didn’t have before. I was idealizing this girl and what we had together, but ignoring all those details that were far from perfect.
Everyone have their own process and timing, but time, in the end, is the key ingredient to move on. So hang in there, my friend. Better days are coming. Nobody said it was easy, but they did forget to mention how hard moving on was. Though, if you can do it, next time it won’t be that hard. Actually, there shouldn’t be a next time. That’s the whole point of this: learning a lesson to never repeat the same mistake again. Or, at least, get to be the one who breaks up instead.