August 27th, 2016. 11:39am.
Subject: Four years already.
It’s been so long since our breakup, that writing to you wasn’t a possibility anymore. Yet, these four years are enough time to be able to look at everything from a certain distance, with objectivity. For that reason, and maybe a few more, I’m writing you this email.
So that happened. Last Saturday I wrote an email to my first girlfriend, C. Of course, the email was in Chilean Spanish, our mother tongue. The purpose of the message? I am not very sure. To be completely honest, my intentions are very much undefined. Fuck, it has been four years since our breakup, after all. What could I possibly ask or say? So, in the end, I just asked her out for coffee, when I’m back home in a week. A coffee and a chat. “For old times’ sake.” Whatever the fuck that could mean.
I have been very clear about the deep wounds my Norwegian ex left me. Those still feel very recent, and don’t seem quite healed. Yet, I rarely comment on my first and longest relationship with C. Partly, because I hardly remember it. Those almost nine years of my life were very uneventful and boring, like a nap that lasted for way too long and from which I woke up bloated and annoyed. But maybe that’s why I wanna dig deep into that, in a conversation with her. Because I can see now how tedious our relationship was, and from that I have learned never to make the same mistake again. Has she got the same moral from our story? Has she learned something else, or something more? What would that be?
There are also a number of other reasons to meet C. I am very curious about what she looks like now, for example. She was obsessed with her weight and, after I broke up with her, I heard she got super skinny. I wonder if that change fits her or not. And, of course, I really would like to know what she was up to the last four years. I mean, these years were incredibly intense and rich for me. What about her? And her family? And her friends? All that world that used to be my own world, back in the day. I really want to follow up in all those stories I left behind. And a little fuck wouldn’t hurt. I have learned plenty of tricks during this time. Has she learned anything? Would the sex be amazing now? Or fucking would just be sad and pathetic? I would like to know. In a very sad and pathetic way, honoring the name of this column. Decadence obliges.