Blah 11: Phone

A couple sits a few of meters away from me in the park. The guy seems like a regular, boring Dane. The girl looks generally uninteresting. I look down at my book, as the wind blows cold in another cloudy Copenhagen summer day. I’m very anxious, taking deep breaths and focusing on the reading to calm myself down. It’s working. I check my phone. Reply some messages. Then, I look around. Everyone in the park is also staring at their phones; the couple in front too. They make me feel less shitty about my loneliness. I don’t want to be like them, comfortably accompanied, but deeply unengaged. I don’t desperately need someone’s company, as most people seem to. I don’t crave somebody to fill the empty space in my bed and my life. I can live without the inevitable nagging, the compromises, the birthday and anniversary presents, the lousy sex, the doubts. Yeah, fuck all that.

I shiver. The wind keeps blowing. It’s getting colder and, after 15 minutes, the couple keeps staring at their phones in silence. “Time to go home,” I think. I pick my bike and start walking.

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