I parked my bike outside the bar. I was a couple of minutes late, and my stomach was acting up. Clearly I was nervous. It was the moment of truth, the reality check. “Is this another waste of time?” I asked myself for the hundredth time, as I locked my bike. As I was getting ready to face whatever outcome was it I had to face. The threat of disappointment, heavy on my mind.
“Hi!” she said, sitting on a bench, a few meters away from me.
“Hi,” I replied, blushing. I haven’t seen her there.
She walked up to me and gave me a hug. I was relieved. She smelled good, had a nice voice, a sweet smile and, most importantly, looked better than her pictures. So I walked into that bar with her knowing that, at least on my part, the fears dissipated. Most of them.
It was Wednesday evening, but the bar was packed. We sat in a couple of tall bar stools next to a column with a big mirror on it. It was fucking uncomfortable. My legs were hanging awkwardly and my ass hurt. That, plus the nervousness of the moment, put me off. Luckily, she did most of the talking. Soon I started loosing up and enjoying the date. Looking at her helped a lot. There’s a special beauty to her. Special, like her.
We went outside for a smoke. Well, she did. I just followed her in the cold, and sat in the bench in front of her, around a long table. She put on some of the blankets that were there. It was freezing and windy. Now, I talked. Said my truth. Told her about the blog and my writing. About my ex. About my parents. About what I was looking for. She listened carefully, drinking and smoking.
When our glasses were empty, we called it a night. She followed me to my bike, and then we walked together for a couple of blocks. In an interception, we stopped. Our paths were different from that point on. “What the fuck should I do now?” I thought, trying to read the signs. I couldn’t quite tell, so I just went for the hug. It was firm and warm, and she had a nice perfume to remember her by. I took a deep breath to get that in me, and then let go.
“I had a good time,” I said, parking my bike. As if I were to do something. I knew I wouldn’t. “Me too,” she said and gave me another one of her sweet smiles. Then she gave me her hand, weakly, in an strange attempt to do some sort of high-five. We both laughed. A few minutes after that, I was home. We texted for half hour. I went to bed. Didn’t sleep that well. “What now?” I wondered. Lost in the darkness.