​“Tú saliste lacho, igual que yo,” my dad said with a smile, and had a sip of his glass of cheap beer. I’ve never had a good relationship with him. I don’t even think we ever have had what you could call a relationship, period. Yet I wanna transcend past all my resentment and old feuds. Start anew, if at all possible. What better way than to begin at home, where it’s closer to my heart and the biggest source of my fucked-up mess of a mind?
So we sat down at this shithole near Plaza de Armas, where my dad always hangs out with his friends. Surrounded by noise, shoplifters, hookers and the worst Santiago has to offer. I met him there, in one of the square’s benches, and offered to buy him lunch. We slowly walked there; as fast as his swollen feet would allow him to. Goddamn diabetes, man.
It’s sad that my father feels proud of me, mainly because I’ve made it big in Europe and for my “luck with the ladies.” He would proudly say “You are a womanizer, just like me.” Fuck my political views, my self-growth, my writing and art… I made lots of money and fucked plenty of women, that’s what counts. What point would it have had to contradict him, anyway? What would I have gained by telling him that my dick has brought me nothing but trouble? Better to let this one slip and drink that one liter beer in harmony.
I told him I’m done with that life, at least. That I met this beautiful Dane and that, as crazy and scary as it sounds, I would love to give it a shot. Settling down. Properly dating. Perhaps even marriage, kids, a fucking house in the suburbs… The whole shebang. “I never thought you wanted to have children,” he said. “I didn’t, either. But she makes me want to,” I replied. I don’t know if the look he gave next me was of a father proud of his son. But there was a look. And, after a life of neglect, it felt like a lot to me.
We parted ways where we started. I headed back to my shitty Airbnb, walking down scorched streets reeking of urine, rotten garbage and decadence. Bought myself some overpriced candy in the supermarket. Thought of T’s smile and felt good. Perhaps not all is lost. Maybe we could actually give it a try when I’m back… “Home”? Though if it’s not meant to be and her word was final, I know I’ll be okay. Things have changed. So have I. Life’s looking bright, no matter what.

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