I can see your future

You’ll wake up in the morning, next to the guy you’ve been fucking lately. It will not be your bed nor your flat. Reality’ll slowly set in. Your head will hurt, a nasty headache. New Year’s Eve hangover will be awful, making you regret drinking so much that night. But you knew better and yet still will have drank as much as you did. “Fuck my life,” you’ll think and sink your face in the pillow, awakening the guy. “Good morning!” he’ll say and kiss you. In this blurry state of mind, you’ll get horny easily. You’ll end up fucking, once again. Hangover sex is good, isn’t it? “Sometimes,” you’ll think, as you’ll climax on top of him. It’ll feel great, but a hollow feeling in your chest will come up, out of the blue. Now you’ll be hungry. The guy will play nicely and make some coffee and warm a few buns in the oven. You’ll both be sitting quietly at the table, daylight coming through the window. As much as there can be at noon in the middle of the winter. Both of you will chit chat about nothing of importance, killing time and trying to overcome awkwardness and this hollowness inside. It’ll be 1 PM then. “Time to leave, I guess,” you’ll say to yourself, although your head will be killing you and the mere thought of taking the bus back home is shit. You’ll get up, anyway, and will pick up your stuff, trying to dress decently enough to go out in the cold. The guy will offer to walk you to the bus stop, and you’ll agree. What a nice gesture. Your bus will arrive and open the door for people to get in. You’ll turn to the guy and kiss him goodbye. He’ll feel weird about it, and you’ll notice, the bus’ door closing and you looking back at him, getting lost in a crow of passersby. Finally home, you’ll drop your stuff on the floor and jump into bed and fall asleep. It’ll be dark when you wake up, your head feeling better. But the void inside your gut will be much worse than before. “I’ll work out,” you think, and get your training gear on. But in your dim-lit living room, the silence will crush you. You’ll feel weak on your legs and slowly fall on your knees, crawling onto your yoga mat. You’ll be sobbing, uncontrollably; realizing that no matter how good well your career is going, how much you work out and travel, and how many sweet Danish guys you date (that your family back in Jylland would love); nothing seems to take Him out of your head. “I fucked up. Big time,” you’ll say, out loud, while continuing to weep in despair. But that crying won’t last forever, and back to your senses, a nice tea in hand, you’ll check his social media. It’ll be surprising he’s not blocked you, huh? Then, what will you do? You’ll already know, but will hesitate. A notebook and a few pages of doodling and notes will get your ideas straight. And the decision you’ll make that sad, dark and cold evening will change your life. January 2nd, 2016 will have had a huge impact in your life.
Didn’t it, Lærke? I’m pretty sure it did.
Wanna know something funny? That guy you hooked up with for a bit back in 2015/16 just checked your Facebook profile. He feels inspired to write something in his blog, after a bike ride in the rain. Definitely, he’s onto something. He thinks that it’s interesting to bend his signature storytelling in a way that can resonate with many people. Or none at all, as it can end up being too specific for someone to relate. Hey, between you and me, he’s just trying too hard. But, who knows, maybe he’ll make it. I can’t tell you his future, though. That’d be a story for another time. What I can say is that he’s wondering what happened with you, after you decided to dump him because you got back together with your “One who got away.” He’s looked at the one picture you posted together with Him, and he’s not at all impressed. He thinks he looks boring as hell. But that’s of course not for him to decide. Not like he’s doing great on his own. Five years down the line and, guess what: he’s still single. I think you made the right choice.
Or, did you really?

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