Fired

I was laid off from my job last week. For the first time in my life, I’ve been fired. Am surprisingly calm, though. I guess that I’ve gone through so much fucking shit in the last couple of years (and specially on this awful 2020), that this doesn’t feel nearly as bad as everyone thinks it should. My manager and the HR lady fucking cried when giving me the news, and it was me there who was soothing them, rather than them easing the blow on me. The fuck, huh?
Of course this puts everything in perspective. My life is, inevitably, going to change and I have, suddenly, and invaluable chance to redo my path and aim it towards wherever I see fit. As my therapist said, from next week, when I have my last day of work, I’ll be the freest man in Denmark. But, will or should I stay here?
On January 31st my contract is set to expire, and, alongside it, my legal residence permit in Denmark. In simple words, starting February next year, I am no longer legally allowed to stay in this country, nor Europe. In less than ninety days, if no new job comes my way, I must leave. For good, most likely.
It’s like the universe and all my gods are telling me, loud and clear, “Eduardo, it’s time to move on.” And, scary as it is, now more than ever I feel like I get it. It only makes sense. When confronted to this, undoubtedly, dire scenario; I fear not. Yes, I have flashes of angst and panic, but otherwise I believe this is a unique opportunity to choose my path, in all honesty. Just as art showed up, uninvited, in a serendipity move from fate. As, at the same time, my German girl was just a one date thing and nobody since has come along. There are no ties for me here any longer nor a career that I should pursue in this arbitrary, limited geographical location.
I am free.
What to do with so much freedom, is the question. Painting? Writing? Trying to get a job and going back to what was normal to me just a couple of weeks ago? Or packing my bags and going back home? So many options, and only one life to live at a time.
Ah, freedom… What do we do now, my beautiful newest lover?

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