Sex/Life 24

Closure. After six months of suffering varying from zero to “I can’t fucking take this shit anymore!” levels, I decided it was time to move on for real. Yes, she was the most beautiful woman I’ve been with, and yes, she is still the best shag I’ve ever had, but holding on to her memory and keeping remains of hope that I could eventually be with her again was a big mistake. Her ghost haunted me constantly, invading my everyday life, some of my dreams at night and, most of all, my sex life.

I couldn’t shake her off my head, no matter who the new girl was. Nobody could live up to her image or make me forget about her for too long. Even if I was having a great time, I could close my eyes and from the deepest and darkest places of my mind, she emerged. Not anymore. Today she responded to my yesterday’s email, intended to be the last, and killed all hope in me. This, which may sound devastating, was the best start I could have for this weekend, this month and most likely, the rest of my life.

I’m free! She is no more, not in my head nor my heart at least. I now can finally be at peace and devote myself for somebody else, starting by me. Now the viking’s soul is in peace, her ghost fading away to become a precious memory and a lesson learned at last.

Closure, what a beautiful word.

2 Comments

  1. Isn’t it strange how you had to deal with your feelings for so long then you just hear/see/read something from the “One” and all those feelings just disappear.
    I’m pretty sure I can’t compare to you. But I experienced that and couldn’t stop myself from thinking of it when I read your post.

    Without really knowing you I’m glad you finally could let go and learn your lesson. At that time when it happened I thought I had learned my mistake. I sadly committed the same error just after.

    And now, I’m like you put it in one of your posts “afraid to love”, and afraid of commitments and afraid of men.
    Ah! I apparently went farther than you in the “let’s protect myself” department. ;)

    Anyway have a great new start !

  2. Hey, MAG! First, thanks for your comment and for sharing your story, I love feedback!

    I believe “the One” stops being so the minute he/she decides to leave us. Having that in mind, even though it’s really painful and suffering becomes a constant state in our life, time heal all wounds.

    Everyone can have a new start, and repeating the same mistake is just a way to re-learn the lessons we had to learn.

    I was afraid to love, but not anymore. I let “the One” go gradually since she dumped me, and her last email destroyed the last remains of hope I had to ever go back to be with her.

    If you can read Spanish, I recommend you to go over my older posts to understand the whole story. If not, I’ll keep updating my blog mostly in English from now on. Probably my experience will help others to heal as well.

    Cheers!

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