The Decadence Chronicle. Episode 48: Punch

Sometimes you just gotta roll with the punches, kiddo. Take the hit, feel the blow. The gut’s gonna hurt, the lips are gonna bleed, your ass will hit the ground. But you will pick yourself up, stand tall and keep on fighting. Watery eyes, messy hair, bloody nose; you will keep on fighting. Just roll with the punches.

The very next day after breaking up with my ex, I installed Tinder on my phone. I had a match then and a couple of days later I met this new girl. On our second date, we slept together. It had only been two weeks since my breakup. It was my way of moving on. Or trying to. Instead of feeling the loss, mourning, putting my shit back together; I decided to cut to the chase and fuck around. Embrace singleness. Take back time, somehow. It was very foolish of me thinking things were gonna be that easy. Now I know they aren’t.

(2 ½ hours pause for beers and mingling in the Copenhagen Creative Studio meetup.)

I fucked up and I didn’t, simultaneously. I should have had a proper grieving process after ending the relationship with my Norwegian fiancé. It would have made things much easier for me now. Yet, I don’t regret meeting each and every single girl I hanged out with after her. L, K, H, Marie, Laura, T. And, of course, Interesting Girl. Technically, what I did was unhealthy and immature. But, repressed grief and all, it was absolutely worth it.

Now, thought, I choose to embrace the loss. I did and I do feel the punch of Interesting Girl exiting my life. The pain is not acute, but it’s present, it’s there. Her absence is noticeable and unpleasant. I miss her. Her witty comments, profound insights, deep stares, awkward but rewarding sex. So I roll. I fall and stay down after the punches. Catching my breath, taking a rest. The fight awaits. I can always stand up and fight again. But, perhaps, some other day.

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