The Decadence Chronicle. Episode 41: Simplicity

It’s my mum’s birthday today. Since I won’t send her a gift (I completely forgot about it, actually,) I thought I could write some inspired piece about what an outstanding strong independent woman she is. I am writing this shit instead because I’m not inspired and had a pint earlier, so my mind is not in the best place right now. One might argue I’m a shitty son. It would be a short argument, since it’s very likely I would agree with that statement.

I went on a brief spontaneous Tinder date a few hours ago. The girl in question defined herself as “queer and pansexual,” and payed for my IPA pint. That was a new. I mean, the queer part. And the date was not bad at all. We laughed, talked about interesting topics and the time went by very quickly. I’m pretty sure there was an underlying sexual tension between us, but I feel comfortable with going separate ways afterwards. Sometimes you just need some positive reinforcement. Even if that means going back to fucking Tinder.

I met up with my girlfriend A yesterday. We sat in a coffee shop in the center and caught up with our messed up romantic lives. And as I was telling her about my current strange situation, Laura texted me. Laura, the Mancunian ex lover. Because of course a “Hey, how’s things? X” from her is exactly what I needed… not. Luckily, it once again ended up in the usual “I was thinking about you (but nothing is gonna happen between us ever again)” push and pull dialog that doesn’t go anywhere and fades in the oblivion of my already unconventional existence.

Now, though, I will cut this short. I feel obliged to give my mum a call, for the sake of keep on being her second favorite child -the first being my ex. I will omit the 6/7 drinking days I had this week, the angsty depth of my existential questions, Trump’s victory and the growing possibility of a global scale disaster that will lead to the total annihilation of the entire human race. Keeping things simple is not my biggest strength, but pretending everything is alright is becoming more and more natural to me. I don’t know if that’s good, though.

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